Like the title says... It's long and ranty. If you don't like rants, don't read.

I recently happened to catch a random TV reality show in which people from some rural Midwest town behaved like complete idiotic weirdo rednecks. It was actually quite outrageous... So, intrigued, I went online to read what other people thought about it. And sure enough, there was a plethora of comments in the vein of "That's Americans for you", "This is why I hate America", "What the hell is wrong with these Americans" and so on.

Unless you've been living under a rock for the past 50 years or so, you've heard it all:

The majority of Americans are stupid.
The majority of Americans are fat and ugly.
The majority of Americans can't even find their country on the map.
Most Americans only eat junk food and only shop at Wal-Mart.
Most Americans never exercise or travel.
Americans are the stupidest/fattest/weirdest/rudest/most arrogant nation on earth.

As a person who wasn't born in the U.S., I can tell you that I grew up witnessing all the things Americans are blamed for - bad food, stupidity, laziness, rudeness, racism, ignorance, arrogance, ugliness - TENFOLD. The only difference? When I was growing up, there was no respite from any of it. It was pretty much a part of your daily life, and no one - NO ONE - gave a crap or tried to somehow regulate it. A teacher in my college used to call foreign students the "n" word on a regular basis. Not only did he not get fired, but several students got into trouble when they tried to protest his behavior. My own mother got fired from her job of almost 20 years for being "the wrong nationality" - so she was told to her face by the powers that were.

Russians recently did a show similar to Jay Leno's Jaywalking, in the center of Moscow, with same results. Every single person they interviewed was a complete uneducated moron. They thought China was a continent, and that Tibetan monks were Muslims, and that Hitler still lived in a jail in Germany. Oh, but this in no way means ALL Russians are stupid and uneducated, no sir! The existence and behavior of soccer hooligans with bad teeth doesn't make ALL Brits obnoxious alcoholic idiots with a tradition of poor dental hygiene. Ukrainians eating pure raw pork fat covered in chocolate and washing it down with home-brewed vodka is perfectly normal, healthy eating. People in Mauritania glorifying obese women is not strange or unhealthy, it's a cultural tradition. And the French thinking they're the very best at everything, or the Japanese being downright xenophobic, is not arrogance; it's national pride.

So, somehow it has come to be accepted that Americans are a stupid and ugly nation for eating junk food and being caught on camera saying stupid things... While in reality every single nation on earth is guilty of it. Americans are called a warmongering nation for taking the natives' land and invading other countries... While in reality most nations on earth are guilty of it. Yet somehow, only Americans should be branded and labeled and hated as a nation for every single cheeseburger they eat and every single stupid thing they say and every single drop of blood spilled by their ancestors and current government. It's only the obnoxious American tourist with a safari hat and a huge camera yelping, "wow, woodya lookit that bigass tower!!" in the middle of Paris that gets the bad rep... No one ever talks about the loud/rude/weird foreign tourists that are dime a dozen where I live. Everyone else in the world is exempt and forgiven, no matter what they say or do, and no matter how unjust and bloody their history is.

Oh, for crap's sake. Yes, we have fatsos in America. Yes, we have dumbasses. Yes, we have weirdos and simpletons and jerks and religious fanatics. BUT SO DO YOU. Yes, we've fought in wars, some of them unnecessary, and have had less than stellar leaders. BUT SO HAVE YOU. Regardless of where you live in or what national background you belong to. Whether you like it or not, Americans are people. Just like you. Just like you, most of us grow up with parents who love us and want us to be good people, with siblings, family get-togethers, birthday parties, sports, chores, homework, exams, aspirations, hopes and dreams. The majority of Americans are normal, down-to-earth families raising their children and trying to make the best of their lives. They are educated, work out, cook and eat healthy food, work hard, participate in sporting events, go to museums, have hobbies, read, and travel. Yes somehow you never hear about these people. Because that wouldn't be interesting, or controversial, now would it.

No, our kids aren't dumb or uneducated. Just like most other humans in the world, we love our kids and want them to do well in life. It's why so many of us choose to be stay-at-home parents or homeschool (or both), or sign our kids up for more extracurricular activities than you can shake a stick at. You say our kids can't read or write, and don't know where the U.S. is on the map? I say this to your face: BULLSHIT. My son is in the second grade. He learned about all the continents, oceans, and NYC boroughs last year. He can point them all on the map no problem. He learned to read and write two years ago. My son is not a little Einstein, and he's not an exception to the rule by any means. He's just a regular American kid going to a regular American public school. Our schools constantly run spelling bees, science fairs, chess tournaments, and contests on just about every subject under the sun. Tell me how that's possible if most kids in America are dumb as rocks and don't even know how to read or write. As for our kids being overweight and unhealthy, every school has a football/baseball/basketball/track/swim/whatever team. Every one of those teams has a cheerleading squad. Tell me how that's possible if most kids in America are overweight. I for one have never seen an overweight athlete or cheerleader.

And before you cringe in disgust at how horrible our eating habits are, you should read up on ethnic foods that are so unhealthy and disgusting that they can give good ol' Big Mac a run for its money (Ukrainian salo, Scottish haggis, Spanish churros, Austrian gebackener... just Google them). Yes, we like junk food because it's quick and convenient and sometimes all we have the time for on our short lunch break. But a whole lot of us also love to cook and eat out at great restaurants that serve small portions and healthy food.

Here's a suggestion. Open a phone business directory from any American town. You'll find gyms, fitness equipment stores and rentals, bike trails, skiing resorts, skating rinks, sports centers, swimming pools, gymnastics centers, sporting events and camps. You'll find scores of nice restaurants, coffee houses, farmer's markets, bakeries, home goods stores, not to mention organizations and stores that cater exclusively to vegetarian, vegan, kosher and other unorthodox lifestyles. You'll find travel agencies, bookstores, craft stores, aerobics classes, art classes, music classes, yoga classes, dancing clubs, boating clubs, campgrounds, and in general places for likeminded people to get together and do what they love to do. I'll be here all day if I continue listing all those things. Tell me how it's possible for all those businesses to exist and sustain themselves if most people in America never exercise, travel, read, or do anything else except sit on their fat rear ends chowing down Big Macs and watching Jerry Springer. People make their living here as life coaches, nutritionists, fitness trainers... WHERE do you think they get their clients from?

You might say that my vision is limited and warped by the fact that I live in a large city on the East Coast, where people in general tend to be more intellectual, refined, and health-conscious than people in middle America are. Think again. Part of my family lives in rural Kentucky. I've traveled all across this country and seen all kinds of places, people, and lifestyles. I was in Nebraska only a few weeks ago, it doesn't get more "middle America" than that. Most people there were just normal people, same as everywhere. Even if folks in the rural Midwest and South do tend to be less educated and less healthy, it sure as heck does not apply to them ALL, nor does it in any way make the above mentioned negative statements about Americans any closer to the actual truth.

So please... To all those who take it upon themselves to so negatively judge an entire nation based on retarded actions of select few, please stop and think and ask yourself whether it's even statistically possible for 300,000,000+ people to all be stupid and fat. Ask yourself how many Americans and American families you've actually met and gotten to know in order to have formed such an opinion. And most importantly, ask yourself what do these sort of assumptions say about YOU.

You might read this, shrug and move on to the next journal. You might think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. You might say I need to take a chill pill.

Whatever you do say, please do not say that I'm just another stupid, fat, ignorant, arrogant American who refuses to face the truth. Because whatever made you believe it's the truth... It simply isn't. DEAL WITH IT.

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